This conversation with a listener took place on Wednesday, June 28th.
I promised to myself and many others that in 2 days I would break the silence after a 4 month “sabbatical” from The Recovery Warrior Show. If I didn’t, I was to record myself singing.
My support network thought it would be a symbolic act of pushing past internal resistance because either way, show or no show I would have to use my voice to communicate with many as I passionately love to do and have for so many years. Except singing on camera would definitely be a first. Can you say, “outside of comfort zone“! 😳
I never intended to let so much time go by between shows. In the last episode I recorded, I was talking about keeping the show going while, I as a solo founder was going to go through a full-time business accelerator program in Boulder, CO and build Warriorfy, an all-in-one platform that combines educational content with behavioral tracking and coaching. It was a really big idea to take on.
Little did I take into account that I would be working 84 hour weeks for the next 3 months and little did I know that the editor of the show was going to have to stop working suddenly. It was an unexpected change, and it was intense.
In the following three months, I added 5 more people to the team, many of whom are and were interns in design, development, and social media. Instead of producing shows, I immersed myself in how I was going to build a company that can help millions of people struggling with the most pressing personal and social issues. This is my north star.
Dark night of the soul
The program ended in May…and so did my productivity. I experienced burnout unlike ever before. It felt very familiar to depression. I had no energy, no passion, and no desire to create. I just wanted to retreat into my inner world and try and make sense of the confusion and conflict.
I was completely disoriented. The experience and connections I made through the accelerator program drowned out my inner voice. I was trying so hard to create a company that would make investors interested, but in the process lost sight of creating the company I was put on earth to build. Throughout my entrepreneurial journey of creating the Rise Up app and starting Recovery Warriors, I’ve turned to Steve Jobs as an invisible mentor and guide (his astrological chart is fascinating 🤔✨). One of his most powerful quotes came from his Stanford University commencement speech in 2005, a year after he was diagnosed with cancer. He said,
Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. -Steve Jobs
The beautiful thing about being exposed to the darkness is it forces you to open your eyes wider. It heightens your senses and intuition. If you are open to seeking wisdom from the experience, you will find it. You’ll find it in ways you would never be able to if the light were to be shining. And when the light does comes back (it always does), you see the world differently.
I believe a dark night of the soul is the space between the person one used to be and the person one doesn’t know they’re becoming. @starheal
Being a True Warrior
In the past few weeks I’ve become crystal clear on my career direction. Warriorfy has metamorphosed into True Warrior, a community driven audio education network. We’re going to do one thing, and do it well. That is connecting you with powerful thought leaders and teachers who will expand your mind to what it means to find true success in ALL areas of your life, from career to relationships to food and body. I’m on the waitlist for the work-life balance class 😉
I never released the podcast before the end of June. I believe we all deserve a second chance. My promise to you is the next show will be out tomorrow Wednesday, July 5th with a great interview starring Emily Dailey of UCSD on Dialectical Behavioral Therapy AND if it isn’t….YOU warriors get to choose the song I have to sing 😉
I’ll sign off with one of the most widely referenced quotes on The Recovery Warrior Show to date by Marianne Williamson. Shine on, Warrior.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. -Marianne Williamson