I’m about to discuss a pretty taboo topic in the Eating Disorder community, and that is food. We are told time and time again that it’s not really about the food, but rather that the food is a vehicle to exert our control over our lives. This is true and pretty understandable.
Since moving home for the Summer, and with the availability of a kitchen over my mini fridge and microwave in my dorm, I have decided to cultivate a new relationship with food.
Rather than eating leftovers or frozen meals, I have decided to take the time to prepare my food to prove to myself that I matter, and so does the fuel that I put in my body. This means that I take the time to prepare something for myself that I know I will enjoy, so when I eat, I can appreciate the food that I am putting into my body rather than using food as a way to abuse my body.
Throughout the past month or so, I have even started to experiment with certain recipes and presentations of food so it looks beautiful and pleasing to the eye. Although this is still a journey for me, I am learning that food is so much more than what I ever thought it could be.
Food is color, taste, smell, texture, and food can be enjoyable and delicious if I choose to treat it as such.
Instead of fearing food and the power I thought it had over me, I took the power back and created something beautiful in something that I once feared.
Food does not have the power, I do.