How do you deal when a doctor tells you to “watch your weight?” A visit to my doctor yesterday shook both me and my recovery.
Let me back up.
I have been dealing with some health issues lately. And I have been in and out of the doctor’s office SO much lately. Like 3 appointments a week for the last few months! It’s exhausting. On top of that, I’ve been seeing my weight…
I am fully weight restored from anorexia and my body has basically settled into a set point it wants to be. However, it’s not a static number – I fluctuate. Women and men alike who don’t restrict and manipulate their meals/exercise based on their weight do this. They fluctuate in weight!
It is normal for our bodies to fluctuate.
I have been in shock the past few months by the ebb and flow of my body. But it really shouldn’t be a surprise. It is what bodies do! Yet, it’s not always easy to accept. Especially when doctors don’t read my charts or pay attention to my medical history of eating disorders.
The doctor said what?!
At a check-up for sleep apnea, the doctor gave me the good news that the treatment was working. “Awesome”, I thought. It is nice when your body responds well to treatment of any kind. His next comment threw me…
Mrs. Heberling, it looks like you have gained weight since your last visit 25 days ago. You understand that sleep apnea gets worse with weight gain, correct? I need you to be aware of that and watch your weight carefully.
In the moment, I was dumbfounded. I had ALL the right things to say… but not until later when I was safely in my car. I can tell you this – he received a link to this article.
What I think about this doctor commenting on my minimal weight gain in the past month… It’s absurd.
I can NEVER be one to “watch my weight.” Doing that almost killed me.
“watch your weight” can be a dangerous phrase
He should have read my chart and have seen my history. The doctor should have been sensitive to my medical history and struggle with anorexia.
And If he was that concerned, he should have asked me if there was anything going on the past month to spark the weight gain. I would have politely told him that my body was in the middle of my cycle, and hormones were kicking, causing all sorts of havoc on my system!
Most healthy people fluctuate in weight
It is not an indicator that one will spiral into extremes. And even if I was, it does not change the fact that the treatment I was receiving was working.
Weight vs. the individual
Now, I believe in Heath at Every Size…
Not all people do, especially doctors. I understand and think that a good doctor will give you all the information needed to help you be in optimal health. But if treatments are working for a person regardless of their size, maybe weight is a non-factor! MAYBE treating the symptom is ENOUGH!
Maybe, just MAYBE we focus too much on weight and not enough on the individual.
I sat in the car trying to wrap my head around my wise mind instead of giving in to the ED thoughts that the doctor had triggered. I realized the best thing to do at that moment was compare. No, not compare my body to someone else’s; not compare my weight to the weight I was a month, a year, or a decade ago.
I compared the joy in my life currently to the joy in my life when I was deep in my eating disorder. A few years ago, my body was dying. My brain was plagued with torturous thoughts. An invisible monster ruled my relationships. My life was confined to a rigid structure that left little room for anything but ED.
I will not “watch my weight”
When I compare my ED life to the now free of ED life, I honestly have peace.
I will not fall into the trap of believing my life and health will be better if I restrict.
Never again will I fall victim to the debilitating thoughts that plagued me for over 16 years. I will not allow one person’s comment to derail my hard work. I WILL NOT WATCH MY WEIGHT. Period.
Many warriors have been tested by inconsiderate and uneducated (when it comes to eating disorders) doctors. We need to take a stand. We need to stick up for ourselves. And we need to take back the ability to go to the doctor without fear of an insensitive comment about our weight. It’s that simple.
Doctors: get to know your patients, and be sensitive to their medical history.
Warriors: Keep showing up for yourself. You’re worth it.