No really….What is keeping you from living the life you want to live?
Fear: False Evidence Appearing Real
Whether we like to admit it or not, fear is something that comes up in our lives for all of us from time to time.
Now, I am not talking about external fears – like spiders, thunderstorms, or being alone in the dark. I am talking about the deep-rooted, internalized fears, I like to call “false beliefs” or “blocks”, that we have made true over time, and have somehow found a way to shape the way in which we live our lives. Still confused?
Here are some examples of fears that have been real for me:
- FEAR of being judged by others
- FEAR of settling or remaining stuck
- FEAR of leaving my comfort zone
- FEAR of not letting go of things/behaviors that don’t serve me
- FEAR of holding on to my past
Now that I have put that out into the open… I have found that the more attention I give to these fears, the more present they become in my life. The more present they become, the more convincing they sound. Overtime they become believable, and before I know it, they become a part of my reality… I have fallen victim to this so many times.
For so long I have been afraid of challenging the false beliefs that have been present in my life. Let’s face it, when we believe something for long enough, it starts to become familiar and in a sense… comfortable. For people like me, there is security in our comfort zones… and when we feel secure why would we want to step away from that?
I have learned that if I continue to listen to and believe these “fears” and do nothing to change them, I will not only stay stuck, but I will continue to have the same results and mindset.
When we are open and honest with ourselves, and actually take a minute to acknowledge these fears (which are really just blocks getting in the way of life) as FALSE, we are taking the first step towards releasing them.
Easier said than done.
Once we acknowledge them, how the EFF do we even begin to LET GO?
Similar to what I did above, I like to start by literally making a list of all of the things that are holding me back from living fully.
It’s a good way to:
- Reflect back on them
- Acknowledge that they were real and valid
- Forgive myself for having those beliefs
- Change my perspective on them
- Allow myself to LET GO
Before you do anything, you have to be willing to do the work and choose a new perspective when these “fears” show up.
When they do, recognize them and ask yourself the following questions:
- Is this “fear” really serving me and my life?
- Is this “fear” in alignment with who I am and what I stand for?
- Is this “fear” really true?
If you answered NO to any of those questions… you guessed it… It is time to LET GO!
Now ask yourself:
- How would my life be different if this fear was not present in my life?
- How would I see, feel, think differently?
Let those answers soak in.
Acknowledge HOW you feel, in your mind and body.
Acknowledge WHERE you feel it in your body.
Personally, when I reflect on the alternative, I tend to feel a little lighter, a little happier, and a little less tense… which is a hell of a lot better than how I feel thinking about the blocks.
So once you can come to that understanding, start thinking about small ways to change your perspective.
It takes a long time to commit fully to this and believe in your new mindset. This work is REALLY hard, so be kind to yourself as you start to incorporate small changes into your life. Don’t get discouraged when you don’t experience miraculous shifts overnight. Be patient, and trust that the more you work at it, over time the new mindset will become more comfortable and more familiar to you. You got this!