*knock knock* who is it?
…it’s me , did you miss me?
Go away ! I don’t want you here anymore!
… but I missed you , and I made you who you are; why wouldn’t I be here ?
*I turn around leaning on the door thinking*
“I can’t let her in.”
… come on you know you need me, you can’t live without me, without me you’ll be fat and ugly again…
*she pulls out a key* how did she get a key?!
“Go away! You can’t come in!”
*she’s unlocking the door and I’m pushing back as hard as I can so she won’t come in*
… you can’t keep pushing forever, you’ll get tired eventually…
*and I do, I fall to the ground exhausted from the force*
…. * she hovers over me* I told you
“Don’t hurt me please”
… I’m not here to hurt you lovely, I just want to help…
“I don’t need you anymore!”
…* she grabs my hair and pushes me on the floor as she starts taking off my clothes, I’m lying naked now, I feel the coldness of her touch all over me* can’t you see your getting fat! Your not worth anything without me! You better not eat tonight, or eat as much as you want but you know what to do after…
*I’m shaking* I hate you *I whisper*
… I’m sorry what did you say…
“I hate you!!!!!”
…. Funny, there’s a fine line between love and hate *she wraps herself around me and doesn’t let go * I’m not going anywhere this time…
She’s right, she did make me, she made those people say all those nice things about me, she made skinny , she made me pretty, I shouldn’t care, but I do
… don’t fight me lovely, it will only make it harder…
*I lay my head on the cold floor, I stop resisting* I’m too tired to fight now, I’ll fight her tomorrow
… I’m not going anywhere lovely, you can’t live without me…
*I close my eyes* I’ll ignore her for now , tomorrow I’ll make her leave, I’ll do it this time… I hope
….*she slides her fingers through my hair* don’t fight me lovely I’m here for you…
Go to sleep! *I cover my ears trying to get her voice out of my head*
… okay lovely I’ll let you sleep tonight, but tomorrow, we’re doing big things..
*I open my eyes hoping she left* I’m alone , she’ll be back I know it but I’ll be ready for her , I hope, I can’t let her win … I won’t