The Unwanted Visitor: A Poem

*knock knock* who is it? 

…it’s me , did you miss me? 

Go away ! I don’t want you here anymore!  

… but I missed you , and I made you who you are; why wouldn’t I be here ?

*I turn around leaning on the door thinking* 

“I can’t let her in.” 

… come on you know you need me, you can’t live without me, without me you’ll be fat and ugly again… 

Go away!  

*she pulls out a key* how did she get a key?!

“Go away! You can’t come in!” 

*she’s unlocking the door and I’m pushing back as hard as I can so she won’t come in* 

… you can’t keep pushing forever, you’ll get tired eventually… 

*and I do, I fall to the ground exhausted from the force*  

…. * she hovers over me* I told you  

“Don’t hurt me please” 

… I’m not here to hurt you lovely, I just want to help…

“I don’t need you anymore!” 

…* she grabs my hair and pushes me on the floor as she starts taking off my clothes, I’m lying naked now, I feel the coldness of her touch all over me* can’t you see your getting fat! Your not worth anything without me! You better not eat tonight, or eat as much as you want but you know what to do after… 

*I’m shaking* I hate you *I whisper* 

… I’m sorry what did you say… 

“I hate you!!!!!” 

…. Funny, there’s a fine line between love and hate *she wraps herself around me and doesn’t let go * I’m not going anywhere this time… 

She’s right, she did make me, she made those people say all those nice things about me, she made skinny , she made me pretty, I shouldn’t care, but I do

… don’t fight me lovely, it will only make it harder… 

*I lay my head on the cold floor, I stop resisting* I’m too tired to fight now, I’ll fight her tomorrow  

… I’m not going anywhere lovely, you can’t live without me… 

*I close my eyes* I’ll ignore her for now , tomorrow I’ll make her leave, I’ll do it this time… I hope  

….*she slides her fingers through my hair* don’t fight me lovely I’m here for you… 

Go to sleep! *I cover my ears trying to get her voice out of my head*  

… okay lovely I’ll let you sleep tonight, but tomorrow, we’re doing big things.. 

*I open my eyes hoping she left* I’m alone , she’ll be back I know it but I’ll be ready for her , I hope, I can’t let her win … I won’t  


You are not alone in the fight against your eating disorder. Join us in the School of Recovery to learn how!


Written By
More from Jessica Brown

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.