The Mystery Package

Soon, I feel its presence, a reminder that something has arrived and it is not going away.  Before I am fully aware, the parcel has been on my mind, in my body, and everywhere, though I have continued to ignore it.  I am sinking deeper into my anxiety, but continue to intentionally ignore the box sitting on my doorstep...

 

strong enough

A parcel arrived at my doorstep in a familiar box.  But I don’t recognize it right away.  And so it sits there, untouched.  I glance at it, but let it sit there.  Soon, I feel its presence, a reminder that something has arrived and it is not going away.  Before I am fully aware, the parcel has been on my mind, in my body, and everywhere, though I have continued to ignore it.  I am sinking deeper into my anxiety, but continue to intentionally ignore the box sitting on my doorstep.  And that makes me even more confused inside.  Why do I recognize this box and why am I afraid of opening it? What happens if I simply welcome the parcel, open it up, and allow the unknown to enter my life for a moment?

I head outside and bring the parcel inside.  Opening it in a comfortable place, I feel the weight of the package.  I notice that it has become heavier since it has been sitting there, untouched.  I carefully remove the layers.  The layers have built up around this message and I must patiently work to open it. As I am opening it up, I feel like giving up.  The box has become so heavy and layered, I feel like it would be easier to walk away.  Maybe someone else will pick up the parcel and find it easier to open.  But I have some strong sense of determination inside of myself.  I know I am the only one who can do this work.  As I remove the layers, I notice that I too feel lighter and clear.  I feel even more determined to continue to do the work and find a way to read the message in the package.  As I arrive closer to the final layers, the
fear returns.  Though I may have been here before, this time I choose to look at this fear in the face and continue my work.  I remove the final layer and hold the message in my hands.  As I take
in the words on the paper, I realize my gift was both the determination I had to find the deeper meaning and then the meaning I deciphered from the message.

Your task is not to seek love, but to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. -Rumi.

More from Erin O'Brien

It takes a village… or a couple of good friends

It takes a village to rise up and overcome disordered eating.  Reach...
Read More