Something has caused you tremendous pain.
The pain hurts. And you desperately search for an outlet for this pain; an escape. So you search for ways to cope.
You choose to control food. Before you know it, it becomes obsessive and self-destructive. This produces shame and guilt. The shame and guilt lead to depression.
Shame, guilt, and depression say you deserve the pain.
Then, you not only feel the pain of your past – but also the pain of the present for getting into this hostile situation with food.
You try to say there is nothing wrong with your behavior, but deep down you know what you’re doing. You don’t know how it started and you don’t know how to stop.
The pain, anger, abuse of food, control of food choices, embarrassment, guilt and depression overwhelm your relationships. It blurs your focus on other people and other things. Your relationships suffer and you feel more lost and alone than ever.
And through it all, anorexia feels shame for never achieving it’s impossible standards of perfection.
Fear, guilt, and shame destroy peace, joy, and love.
But when you forgive and accept yourself, you can begin enjoying life again. You can laugh at yourself and at others.
Fear of rejection will no longer hold you prisoner because you no longer reject yourself and your past.
When you are comfortable in your own body and imperfections, you can find joy in being with others. You will have nothing to hide.
The shame will be gone and you will be set free.
Your feelings will not be numb anymore. Be honest with yourself about what you feel and also your failures.
The eating disorder has been draining you physically, mentally, and emotionally. Now expect to feel lots of emotions, laughter, sadness, joy, and crying.