New Year, Old Disorder

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I have a problem with the practice of “New Year’s resolutions”. In theory, the idea of making a promise to yourself to better your life at the start of a new year makes sense. However, people tend to think of the New Year as the only time they should resolve to change things in their lives, and so they limit themselves to making weak-willed assertions that they’ll change x, y, and z… starting on the 1st. Or maybe the 2nd. Or…. you know… when they find time.

Don’t get me wrong – there’s something to be said about starting fresh in January. The weather is crisp and ready to turn into spring, schools are on break before the new semester, families are together… it’s an ideal time to reflect on the last twelve months of our lives. We count our blessings, we express gratitude, and we think about what could have been done differently.

I will always remember 2014 as the year that I quit wasting my time with my useless psychiatrist, started attending an ED support group, was referred to my (amazing) dietician, and finally admitted to my friends and family that I was sick, and that I had been for years. I made a resolution – in April – to dedicate myself to the process of recovery. There was no option to start tomorrow, or the day after, or the week after that. There was no easier option and there were no half-assed attempts. A real resolution requires an honest admission of imperfection, a solemn vow, commitment, and carries with it the responsibility to hold oneself accountable for the successful (or failed) execution of the project of change.

As I roll into 2015, I don’t have any specific New Year’s resolutions (I think I’ve done quite enough resolving this year, thank you very much), but I have been reminding myself of all of the changes and improvements that I have made – and want to continue to make – over the past year.

New Year’s reminders:

  • Enjoy my new, healthy body. It is strong and beautiful in ways that my sick body never could be.
  • Keep talking about my disorder to friends, family, other Recovery Warriors… anyone who will listen. It’s therapeutic for me and educational for them.
  • Continue to work on finding my triggers and developing my self-care rituals.
  • Spend more time with my favourite people (i.e. spend less time isolating myself).
  • Continue to channel my anxiety into productive or expressive activities, such as art, taking long walks to run errands, or cleaning my apartment while I sing at the top of my lungs.
  • GO SKATING! It brings me clarity and peace of mind. Ice rinks are my happy place, and I should visit them more often.

What are your New Year’s reminders? Let us know in the comments below!

May you have a healthy and happy 2015, filled with love, gratitude, balance, and peace of mind.

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