Life In ED
Living a life with an eating disorder is similar as if you were to live in a coffin. You can breath, see, hear and smell, but you live a live being buried alive. You can’t move, run, laugh, enjoy, relax and breathe freely. You can see the world, the light through a tiny narrow crack in the lid of a coffin. That is how life with an eating disorder feels.
My eating disorder has become a major distraction in my life. All the energy and forces that I might have spent on creating, learning I gave away to this disease. Obsession over my body image, a constant restriction, and deprivation with food, energy, emotions brought my life into misery.
It is time to stop. I have given away enough.
Enough of time, passion and energy I might have invested in exploring the world around, my personality.
It is time to start looking beyond and within myself. Who am I beyond my obsession and preoccupation with food and body, beyond my appearance, beyond my worries, beyond my thrive to be perfect, beyond my ego…
It is time to learn what are my core values, my passions, dreams, talents, and desires. It time to start looking for what I can bring into this world. It is time to learn who I am.
I gave away enough of my life. I was running away for too long. I was neglecting and living in denial for too long. I was lying to myself that there is nothing weird or strange in my relationship with food for quite a long time…
Are you ready to challenge your ED? Allow us to help you in the School of Recovery.
How my eating disorder has challenged me to live my life to the fullest:
- It has challenged me to become stronger and to learn how to never give up.
- It has challenged me to become more compassionate, forgiving, loving and accepting of myself and others.
- It has challenged me to learn how to believe in myself, even in the most desperate times.
- It has challenged to become more patient with myself. Through ups and downs, through slipping into a pitfall – learning how to get back up on the track.
- It has challenged me to become more persistent and compassionate.
- It has challenged me to learn how to accept my personality, my dreams, my desires.
- It has challenged me to learn how to validate and express my emotions without suppressing or pushing them away. How to become more assertive with others, how to stand up and speak up for myself.
- It has challenged me to learn how to become more forgiving with myself.
It has challenged me to tame my inner critic, to feel that I am worthy of love, and to accept me for who I am.
- It has challenged me to learn how to distinguish emotional and physical hunger.
- It has challenged me to be courageous enough to stay with my emotions until they pass. Without acting on them, without eating them up.
- It has challenged me to get to know my true personality for the first time.
- It has challenged me to learn how to let go of my compulsive need to control everything.
It is a gift to be able to face these challenges and finally feel alive after ten years of suffering.
It is the greatest gift to choose life over my eating disorder, over a constant restriction, over isolation and perfectionism.
It is the greatest gift to choose life. Over and over. And to actually live. Every day, every hour. My recovery is my choice. And this choice belongs to me.