First of all, I am terribly sorry for the way that I have treated you throughout the years. I have abused you and taken you for granted for a long time now. But from now on, I will protect you. I will take care of you, by nourishing you and giving you what you need for healing. Most of all, I will listen to you.
You are a wonder!
You are my very own universe, housing my spirit, and despite the abuse, you continue to work for me. And so, my beloved universe, I will care for you as best as I can, with God’s help.
I am amazed at how many living organisms make you up. They form organs and skin and they do all kinds of necessary tasks within to make sure I stay alive. I have a defense team, a vast transportation system. You are a renewal and healing team and so much more that I’m not even aware of.
I take for granted how much work you do on a daily basis, and even while I sleep. You give me the ability to laugh, love, cry, dance and experience the world in all it’s wonder and beauty. I can see and hear and taste and touch and feel and think and love.
You have even been a vessel and support for creating two beautiful babies, and allowing me the pleasure of feeding them with milk you created just for them! I do not have to be conscious of all of the processes that are going on (even now) inside of you for me to be functioning or writing this letter to you! Body, you are just doing what you’ve been instructed to do. However, you are dependent upon me for fuel. And you have a wonderful way of letting me know when you need more.
I am sorry that I have believed so many lies about you.
Thinking I knew better. I would ignore your cry for fuel and for care. Forgive me for ignoring your hunger, a cry only for proteins, carbohydrates, vitamins and minerals. Please forgive me for listening to a society that screams that I can’t trust you to know what you need, when you need it and how much.
This society is screaming for me to eat foods and drinks and supplements that are processed for the sole purpose of trying to make you look a certain way. They scream that this is the healthy way to live. All while encouraging me to fork out more and more money to keep it up.
They say if I eat normal food and trust you, that you will betray me. Society says I need to keep my hunger “in line”. as if you are attempting to ruin my life, instead of just getting what you need to survive another day. But they don’t care about me. They care about my money, and keeping me dissatisfied with you.
And you, my little universe, will only scream louder. I eventually give in to your demands, and then feel bad about it, which starts the cycle all over again.
Little universe, you care about me.
When you ask for food, it’s because you need it, and I’m going to listen to you from now on. When everyone else talks about the latest dieting trend that they are finding so successful, and I’m tempted to jump on board with them, I will hug you close and whisper, “No, you love me and I love you. I will continue to trust you to know what I need most.”
When I’m craving carbs or sugar, I will answer your call, and give you what you ask for. You don’t always ask for these things when I’m listening very carefully to you. Sometimes, I have found that you actually don’t want anything with sugar, that you actually would prefer a salad. And sometimes the opposite is true. And that’s okay.
Forgive me for trying to fit you into a mold of unattainable acceptability defined by society. You are a 35-year-old universe, and you should look like that, instead of a 13-year-old universe.
Forgive me for focusing on getting you below a cold number, that doesn’t care whether the weight is made up of fat or muscle or health or non-health. Forgive me for exercising you hard, with little fuel. I will not longer make you miserable.
Forgive me for trying to deny and hide the results of life lived and being lived. I have two beautiful children. And a beautiful landscape of hills and carved out terraces of stretch marks and wrinkles indicating that something life-changing happened to my body. Something that gives me gifts beyond measure.
So from now on, I will treasure you.
I will not compare you to others. You are your very own universe. Never again will I allow others to dictate how you are supposed to be or what you need. I will cherish the hills and dips and curves that shout to the world that I am a woman and that my body needs food. Now, I will listen to you and I will silence you no longer. I will trust you.