When talking to my therapist recently about how I’m feeling about this stage of recovery, I expressed how uncomfortable I am with my current body size.
Yes, I am healthier, happier, more alive, and overall enjoying life much more these days. But I found myself very self conscious in my current body. I find myself earning for the days when I could enter a room and be the smallest one in it.
My amazing therapist made a very powerful comment. She simply stated,
This is not your season to be the thinnest person in the room. I remember when you were in that season, in fact, and you weren’t very happy.
It was such a simple comment, but so true. And I find myself returning to it repeatedly. It’s just so powerful. The symbolism of seasons is one that I find applies to various areas of my life.
Long days, short seasons
One of my favorite quotes about motherhood is: the days are long but the seasons are short. Motherhood, just like recovery, can be so hard and overwhelming. There are some intense moments and some days feel like they will never end.
Then, all of the sudden you blink and your baby is going to kindergarten. Or you are having a spontaneous meal with dessert after, and realize you are living freely in the moment.
Warriors, I challenge you to think about your life as seasons.
What season are you in?
Contemplate which season you are currently in. Maybe you are in school, or single, or dating. You may be living on your own for the first time, getting married, starting a job, raising children, or watching children go away to school. Maybe you’re letting go of the past, starting new projects, looking towards retiring, or starting a new career.
Whatever seasons you are in, remember that life is a series of seasons. And all those seasons add up to years.
While every season is temporary, at times they may be so intense, difficult, or dark that it feels all consuming. However, it is the true nature of seasons to come and go, and bring change with them.
I have already spent more enough time in the season of my life where I risked everything to be the thinnest person in the room. Ultimately, it did nothing to bring me joy.
I may never be known as the “healthy” or “tiny” one again. In spite of that, I have moved into a much richer, more fulfilling season of life. I am now in the season of soaking up the joy and laughter around me. In this season I can connect authentically with real, beautiful, imperfect, and courageous warriors. Best of all, this season involves loving and being loved by my family.
Instead of trying to control or change the season I am in, I’m working on allowing them to transform my life. In doing this, I am finding so much more joy, freedom, and energy.
While we can not control much of what happens to us during the seasons of our lives, we do get to choose how we handle those seasons.
Whatever season you are in, I challenge you to work on cultivating compassion for yourself. Work on trusting and respecting your body. Remember to value connecting with your loved ones and expressing gratitude for your blessings.
If you do these things, I promise you’ll be able to make the best of the season you’re in – no matter what it may be.
Image: Amy Goh