“I Will Grow and Grow In Front of Your Eyes- And Yes, I Will Get An Order of Fries…” [a poem]

Not too long ago I laid in a hospital bed
Yelling at loved ones, refusing to be fed

My skin was dry and sickly pale
All of my organs had begun to fail

For hours I stared at a blank white wall
Thought of the life I’d given up to be small

Something deep inside me cracked
I realized it was only determination I lacked

I decided to get better, wanted to be free

Realized everything I needed was inside of me

It wasn’t easy, in fact it’s still hard
I’m not done healing, still bruised, and battered, and scarred

But I no longer spend each moment afraid
I think of all of those nights I lay awake and prayed,

“Please help God, please save me”
But I am the one who answered that plea

I rebuilt my body, my mind, and my soul

Took back the life anorexia stole

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I opened my mouth and swallowed each bite
I cried and I sobbed, but I survived every night

I know now I am stronger than some cruel voice inside

I refuse believe I am only meant to hide
I will grow and grow in front of your eyes,

and, “Yes, I will get an order of fries.”

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