Accepting yourself and your appearance.
It’s something I’ve found challenging and still struggle with on many days.
Right now, I look and feel healthier physically than I have in a long time. But I’ve had to work much harder to keep my mental health moving in the right direction.
But that’s okay.
No one ever promised that every day would be a walk in the park.
It’s how you deal and fight with the thoughts that keep you strong.
Recently, I’ve spent hours scrutinizing every part of myself.
And what benefit has that brought me? None.
It’s all because I’m going on vacation soon and will probably be wearing a bikini. And I’m paranoid that all the other girls will be “in better shape” than me.
The thoughts and self hatred towards myself were unbearable enough to reduce me to tears and force me to not be able to look at myself any longer.
However, I reminded myself that thoughts like these are actually completely normal in recovery – no matter what stage you’re at.
That voice bullying you is your eating disorder trying to mislead you and trying to convince you to go running back at the first opportunity. Only because it can see how strong you have become without it’s power over you.
All of these thoughts and tears. They are making you stronger.
All of the resilience you have gradually built up against the bully in your head is all of your hard work!
Use this resilience when you’re having a tough day.
There is no race when it comes to accepting yourself.
If you find you are comparing yourself or your lifestyle to that of your companions, remind yourself that just because they may be following diets and going to the gym X amount of times a week doesn’t mean that you’re a bad person for not doing the same thing.
Everyone is traveling a different route through life. And your journey needs to be what is safe and helpful for you.
Reflect on how much more you have been able to achieve and accomplish without being controlled and by fighting to get where you are.
I can assure you, you will want to keep going, Warrior.