
You cling to me
I try to hide
I stretch you left
I stretch you right
I walk around
With a fake smile
Nobody knows
The pain inside
You cannot cover
Every curve
This is the feeling
I deserve
For being so fat
And out of control
I’ve lost my heart
I’ve lost my soul
That used to fit
Thinking someday
Ill rock that shit
But all you do
Is torture me
I’m constantly checking
How you look on me
I’m never pleased
With what I see
I’m filled with shame
Disgust and blame
I try you on
I walk around
I take you off
I throw you down
I continue this cycle
I start to break
I truly believe
Nothing looks good on me
I cringe and cry
say,
Fuck it; I’m done
Throw on a hoodie
And wonder why
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Why am I like this?
Why do I suck?
It’s no wonder I’m single
Who would want this mess?
I go to the fridge
My mind is reeling
With what I’ll find inside
I start to eat
I make a plan
My thoughts are racing
I don’t sit; I stand
Until I come to
And look around
At the wrappers and evidence
Of the binge I just had
I feel the shame
The deep, deep hate
I lay in agony
The pain won’t go away
For I have stumbled
And down I went
ED won this time
I am spent
I’ll go to bed
My stomach full
Diet starts tomorrow
Well… there’s the cycle
I relate to this 100% thank you for sharing this. I’m still in my fight probably always will be. Most days I have to press the reset button.