You made it! The day is here. Now it’s time to get yourself married.
Feed the Bride
Ignore the crazy advice about getting a “flat belly” by dehydrating, purging or starving yourself. Remember: a well-fueled bride is a happy bride.
You may be so excited or anxious that your stomach-butterflies make you feel queasy. Even though it’s challenging, don’t let ED convince you that you’re too nervous to eat. This is not a day to live on air. Allow yourself time for a healthy breakfast with carbohydrates, protein, and fat. You will need fuel to energize you for this amazing day!
Have plenty of snacks available if there is no formal lunch planned: yogurt, fruit, bread, cheese. Eat foods that are easy to digest and give you a big energy boost. Drink plenty of water.
Be conscious about whom to invite “backstage” while you are getting dressed. One bride recovering from bulimia was so anxious about being in her under garments in front of her judgmental mother that she decided to get dressed with her fiancé! Ignoring the superstition about him seeing her dress, she actually felt calm and relaxed with him in the room. Munching on snacks and sipping champagne while they got ready together is one of her most precious memories of the day.
Remember, this is your day and your recovery. You know what is best for you. Even if parts of your wedding are uniquely yours, it’s OK. Advocate for yourself.
Often brides are so busy dancing and socializing at the reception that they forget to eat. You don’t want to faint at your reception or get so drunk that you pass out on your spouse. Take the time to sit and enjoy that great food you picked out three months ago. Remember to ask the caterer to set aside two plates for when the night is over; you’ll both be famished. Prepare well and you’ll have no regrets.
Connect With Your New Spouse
Remind yourself throughout the day what it’s all about. Consider moments when the two of you can really connect. Steal a kiss in an empty hallway. Stare into his eyes as you dance.
If you are recovering from an eating disorder, you have lived with a harsh and negative inner voice. There is a reason you want to share your life with this person. Try seeing yourself through their loving eyes. Marriage is healing if you allow yourself to open up to the possibility that you are as beautiful and lovable as your new spouse believes you to be.
Breathe in the love.
Breathe out the bullshit.
While you may have planned everything down to the T, things will undoubtedly happen that you did not anticipate. Your make-up gal may get caught in traffic; a storm may appear; your maid of honor may get the flu. Try not to let these glitches throw you off kilter. Two helpful mantras are “Expect the Unexpected” and “Go with the Flow.” You don’t want to spend 30 minutes of your wedding day in a panic attack because the flowers are the wrong color. The “mistakes” and goofs will be what make the day unique and memorable. Funny wedding stories are delightful.
Sometimes life is messy. Don’t wait to look back at it and Laugh.
Laugh now. Then let it go.