Thoughts on Re-Entering School After Leaving For Treatment

Are you excited?

I groan. I don’t know what I feel. 

I stare at my backpack and flashbacks of lonely dorm-room binges and deceitful purges play on a loop. 

Excited? I don’t think that’s quite right. But, I am honestly, unsure of what I do feel.

I remember walking around campus a year ago, a head full of food fantasies, a bleeding stomach, a sore throat, scarred knuckles and a suffocating emptiness I never knew was humanly possible to experience.

I remember, like it was yesterday. But, I also feel like an entirely new person now.

How do I say hello to the people I disappeared from a year ago as the me I am now?

Am I different? Will they notice a change? Do I share my story? Does anyone care?

I pick my pens and place my headphones in my bag. Done. Ready. or am I?

I don’t know if one is ever ready to re-enter the world after treatment. (But, tip: I do know that one always needs to re-enter the world after treatment.)

So, here I sit, backpack in hand “ready” to re-enter.

To you who are re-entering school after leaving for a season to receive treatment, know I am right with you. I am in your boat.

We can roe roe our boats trying to figure out what this bizarre feeling is. Not quite excited, not upset, not scared, but… something.

I am happy to sit in the boat beside you and just be. I may not know my feelings about re-entering life as it was before treatment but, I have a feeling everything will be alright. We`ve got this. #warriorsunite

One day at a time.

And hey, maybe that person sitting next to you needs to know you are a warrior because they have been fighting, too.

I suppose, if anything, to be back but in a better head-space is a time to be kind, to be love, to be a source of hope to the lost and the broken.

Maybe you and I were made for more than just ourselves.

Maybe our stories can truly impact.

I swing on my backpack.

Breathe.

Okay, let’s do this thing.

*cue inspirational jam song *

Did you know there is a School of Recovery? Learn more about the healing curriculum here.

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